Wow!!! What an amazing first card here at the CFA as the youngest
and brightest stars of today battled it out through the night!
We've seen some amazingly promising debuts from some of the ladies here tonight as well as some girls who got a first lesson they will not easily forget! Read on for the full card report!
and brightest stars of today battled it out through the night!
We've seen some amazingly promising debuts from some of the ladies here tonight as well as some girls who got a first lesson they will not easily forget! Read on for the full card report!
Match 1:
Scarlett Johansson vs Emma Stone
Winner
Scarlett Johansson
by Breast Smother KO
Duration: 8m 25s
Performance Score
82% - 18%
82% - 18%
Post match: We opened the night with a brutal display of dominance as the amazing Scarlett Johansson did not waste any time and proved she is a force to be reckoned with as she easily handled the weaker redhead, connecting with some powerful blows followed by a long bear hug hold early on that completely knocked the fight out of Emma. From there on Scarlett toyed with her prey for 5 or so minutes, poor Emma looked to be too outclassed and clearly in fear of her tough and experienced opponent to even try mounting any kind of offense, as Scarlett's many fans cheered in joy. After feeling she proved her point, Scarlett once again bearhugged her weak opponent for just enough time to drain her of all energy left, then released Emma letting her fall lifelessly to the mat, where she mercifully finished Emma with a crowd pleaser: the Breat Smother. Emma did not struggle, and slowly passed out. Scarlett made sure to pose for the fans for a few more minutes while Emma was lying unconscious in the middle of the ring before signaling to the ref that she is done with Emma. The ref then called for the bell, and the easy win for Scarlett.
Scarlett: "Easy. She is pretty, I'll give her that. But she should quit the CFA now or next time I will REALLY hurt her.
Emma: "Ouch. I got beat pretty bad huh...? I was sure I was ready for her but she was just too strong for me, and much more experienced. I don't think I even hit her once........depressing. I got a tough fight for my debut, I will keep training for sure....hopefully on my next fight I'll have a chance to show some of what I'm capable of..."
Match 2:
Evangeline Lilly vs Amanda Righetti
Winner
Amanda Righetti
by Pinfall
Duration: 22m 50s
Performance Score
41% - 59%
41% - 59%
Post match: Probably the most epic fight of the night, this went on for almost 25 minutes, as both women showed incredible stamina and toughness. The bigger Amanda was in control for most of the fight, but Evangeline gave it all she had and managed to even the score several times during the match. Towards the 18 minute mark, when it seemed like this match would go on forever, Amanda's power started to take its toll on the smaller Evangeline. Amanda took control of the match for good as she lifted and powerslammed Evangeline to the mat several times. The exhausted brunette had no energy to fight back at this point, as she was lifted off the mat by Amanda for a final DDT move and the pin. Evangline did not budge, and Amanda was declared the winner.
The classy Amanda proves she is one of the biggest forces of the future of the CFA, defeating a strong contender in her debut and doing it in style!
Amanda: "Well that was pretty fun. Evangeline is not a pushover like most girls around here....I had to work to finish her off. But everyone knew I was going to win, so there. I hope I made it look good. I got my eye on a few girls for my next fight, We'll see if I can get my hands on them as well! *laughing*."
Evangeline: "*looking demoralized, staring down at the floor, battling tears* I...I'm not sure what happened to me tonight...I was in this fight for most of it...I had a feeling I'll be able to turn it around but I guess Amanda had other plans for me. She is VERY strong I'll tell you that....She's gonna be one of the top fighters in here for sure....but next time we meet, I'll be prepared. I'm looking forward to my next fight, I am NOT gonna disappoint my fans again I can tell you that. "
Match 3:
Megan Fox vs Miley Cyrus
Winner
Megan Fox
by Multiple Submissions
Duration: 13m 17s
Performance Score
73% - 27%
73% - 27%
Post match: Goddess Megan Fox was up next against the young star Miley Cyrus, and it seemed like Megan is on her way to a dominating future in this league judging by her performance tonight.
Total domination by the more experienced fighter.
Megan rained kicks and punches to the body of the brave teen, who kept taking the punishment with some resilience for the first 10 minutes of the fight. Megan did not let Miley mount any sort of offense as she kept the pressure on her opponent like a pro. At around the 10 minute mark, seeing that her opponent can take a lot more punishment than most girls her size would, Megan decided to try and end this by picking the hurt Cyrus off the floor and applied a cruel wedgie hold.
Poor Miley seemed to be unable to take this kind of unusual pain for long and was screaming her submission in a matter of seconds.
Satisfied that her idea worked, the amused Megan, enjoying her fan support,decided to keep applying the hold on poor Miley. Miley's screams could be heard around the arena for a few good minutes, trying to submit at least 5 times.
Eventually the cruel Fox decided she's had enough fun with Miley and let her fall to the mat in a heap, as the referee raised her hand in victory.
Megan: "Another night, another ass kicking. Miley is quite tough, I can see her beating some of the girls who fought here tonight, but that doesn't mean she should step in the ring with someone like me. That is way too dangerous *sexy smile*."
Miley: "That stupid cheater cunt got me there with that stupid wedgie move. I was doing fine, I'm not a pussy. Megan is a dirty fighter, maybe I should learn something from her. My next fight is not going to be pleasant for my opponent, I'll tell ya that!"
Match 4:
Kristen Bell vs Jessica Alba
Winner
Jessica Alba
by Face Punch KO
Duration: 9m 46s
Performance Score
35% - 65%
35% - 65%
Post match: Next up we hoped to see an interesting even match between 2 very sexy combatants, but alas - only one shined tonight. It was the cocky Jessica dominating the sexy but much smaller Kristen throughout this one.
We hoped Kristen would stand up toe to toe to the cocky Alba and show her what she's capable of but Jessica proved to be just too much for the blonde as Kristen was easily picked up and thrown around the ring by the much stronger Jessica.
Kristen was not strong enough to wrestle with Jessica, and tried catching her off guard with some quick kicks to the body and some attempts for submission moves, but every time she seemed to hurt her opponent, Jessica would just hoist her up and slam her hard into the mat, quickly knocking all the fight out of Kristen. By the 9th minute mark Kristen was flat on her back in mid ring, spread eagled , pretty much done for, after a strong clothesline from Jessica.Jessica then sat atop her chest, pinned her arms to the mat with her knees, and started raining punches to Kristen's face.
After 2-3 punches poor Kristen was already out cold, but Jessica kept going for a few more seconds before the referee called for the bell giving Jessica a very impressive victory!
Jessica: "Did you like my performance? It was pretty easy I must say...but pretty fun!...Kristen is a tough cookie but she is just too weak.....Maybe she should try that Emma Stone chick instead. "
Kristen: "I guess she was just too strong for me....I couldn't really do any major damage to her. I don't know......felt pretty embarrassing waking up and finding out she kicked my ass. I hope my next fight will be against someone closer to my size...then I'm hoping to kick some asses of my own!"
Match 5:
Hayden Panettiere vs Avril Lavigne
Winner
Hayden Panettiere
by Total KO
Duration: 6m 29s
Performance Score
74% - 26%
74% - 26%
Post match: Next we've had the pleasure of this hot and unexpectedly one sided match, as 2 young blonds battled it out and it was the younger Hayden who dominated poor Avril from the get go.
The impressive Hayden did not leave Lavigne any chance as she blasted away at her weaker opponent with hard punches and knees from the first moments of the fight, with Avril looking helpless and unable to defend herself against the onslaught.
At one point Avril panicked and decided to run in circles around the ring trying to escape Hayden for as long as she could to try and pull herself together.
This didn't last long as Hayden was able to catch Lavigne and continue to decimate the outclassed blond.
Quickly the match was turning into a joke, and at the 6th minute mark the referee decided to stop the onslaught as Avril was trapped in the corner, unable to defend herself, being hammered in the belly and chest by Hayden's powerful fists and looking completely out of it.
The referee pulled Hayden away and let the devastated Avril collapse pathetically to the mat, out cold.
Impressive first victory for the powerful young starlet Hayden, and a surely humiliating debut for the proud Canadian!!!
Hayden: "Haha, Avril was fun. Can I beat her up again next week ? Please?! pretty please?!"
Avril: "**Unfortunatelly, Ms. Lavigne refused to comment on her match tonight.**"
Match 6:
Kristen Stewart vs Rachel McAdams
Winner
Rachel McAdams
by Pinfall
Duration: 5m 12s
Performance Score
29% - 71%
29% - 71%
Post match: What followed next was the most disturbing match of the night.
Rachel McAdams, clearly unsatisfied with her chosen opponent, arrived at the ring with something to prove. As the bell rang, she charged Kristen, slapping the poor girl brutally. Kristen span from the force of the slap, barely managing to stay standing as she massaged her hurting cheeck, looking shocked. Rachel then grabbed Kristen by the hair and started throwing Kristen around the ring, refusing to release her death grip on Stewart's hair. Kristen's screams filled the arena as she helplessly tried to retailiete. Rachel, however, did not leave her any chance. Lifting her up and punching her hard square in her belly button, the overwhelmed Stewart was led to the ring corner and draped on the corner ropes, moaning softly.
Rachel trapped Kristen in the corner by twisting her arms around the ropes. 3 more hard belly punches had Kristen wanting to collapse to the mat but was unable to as the ropes kept her hanging even though her kneels buckled. The look on her face told the story, by now she was completely at Rachel's mercy.
Rachel had no mercy for Kristen though. She leaned over onto the terrified girl, whispering something into her ear that made Kristen's eyes open wide in horror, and then proceeded to ram her knee into Kristen's crotch over, and over, and over again. After the 5th knee, the destroyed Kristen begged the referee to call for the bell, but Rachel demanded to finish the match on her terms.
After 10 knees to Kristen's crotch she was finally satisfied and backed off, releasing Kristen's arms from the ropes.
The arena was filled with deafening boos from the large amount of Kristen fans as the devastated brunette collapsed lifelessly the mat.
Rachel used her leg to flip Kristen's unmoving body, and then placed her foot on Kristen's belly for the 1-2-3 count and the win.
Amazing yet scary debut from McAdams, sure to have raised the attention of most girls at the CFA. Hopefully her next opponent can put up more of a fight for us!.
Rachel: "I told her not to show up and she did. So I had to show her why it was a mistake. You think she got it? *laughing*
You know what, for my next match I want a REAL woman in the ring with me. This win impresses no one."
Kristen: *Kristen was not capable of attending her post match interview* Her representative delivered this message on her behalf: "Kristen would like to thank all her fans and apologize for what they had to witness tonight. She promises she will be back and try her best to improve for her next match at the CFA."
Match 7:
Katy Perry vs Emma Watson
Winner
Katy Perry
by Breast Smother KO
Duration: 4m 48s
Performance Score
75% - 25%
75% - 25%
Post match: One destruction follows another as the lovely Emma Watson got a hard lesson from goddess Katy Perry in a dominant debut. Both ladies met each other in the center of the ring for a stare contest. The much bigger Katy towered over Emma for a minute or so before delivering a surprise head butt directly into Emma's forehead. Poor Emma stumbled backwards and around the ring covering her forehead for a good minute while Katy watched in amusement. When she was tired of this, she caught Emma by the neck and led the dazed actress to the ring corner. Katy rammed Emma's head 10 times into the corner post, smiling cruelly to the fans.
Emma was now barely able to stand by herself, when Katy turned her around and began taunting her: "Hit me! Come on!".
Emma was clearly afraid to hit Katy back and was just standing there with her arms hanging to her sides, looking at Katy in fear.
Bored of her pathetic opponent, Katy dragged Emma again by her neck to the middle of the ring, smiled to the cameras, and hoisted Emma up for an amazing choke hold slam, sending Watson back first into the mat.
Emma was now a moaning half-awake mess on the floor, as Katy grabbed her own chest informing the fans of what was about to happen. She went behind Emma's head and lowered her impressive chest.
A few seconds later and Emma's face disappeared within Katy's amazing cleavage as her body went completely still.
The referee ordered Katy to stop, and declared her the winner! That is what we call DOMINANCE! Two Emmas breast smothered to oblivion in one hot Friday night! Only at the CFA Folks!
Katy: "I think I was too easy on her. What do you think? Yeah I know....I felt bad for her, she's so cute! I feel kinda sorry for her for having to fight ME on her debut. But yeah, you know I mean business. She just bored me fast. Next time I won't be so mercyful! *smirk*".
Emma: "I...I would like a rematch.....I felt like you didn't see me at my best tonight. I'm convinced I can beat Katy. I guess I'll have to prove myself on my next match to get my payback eventually, But I will."
Match 8:
Elisha Cuthbert vs Rihanna
Winner
Elisha Cuthbert
by Submission
Duration: 16m 41s
Performance Score
59% - 41%
59% - 41%
Post match: Some would say this hot match was the most interesting and compettative fight of the night. Two tough girls, black vs white. No clear favorite. The match started off with both girls locking up in mid ring. Rihanna seemed to overpower Elisha, pushing her to the corner and connecting with a knee to Elisha's soft belly, taking her down and controlling the fight for the first 4-5 minutes. However, Elisha managed to turn it around at the 6 minute mark by surprising Rihanna with a kick between the legs. From that point on Rihanna seemed to have weakened and Elisha took control, executing some impressive wrestling moves. Rihanna was not done yet though, and managed to turn the tides once again when a surprising knee to Elisha's tummy, followed by an amazing backbreaker move almost finished off the stunned Elisha. Rihanna went for the pin and almost got the 3 count, but Elisha was not willing to lose her debut.
Rihanna was getting frustrated at this point with her tough opponent, trying to end the match quickly by lifting Elisha off the mat by her hair and planning to knee her again for another back breaker that would have finished Elisha for sure.
This time though - Elisha was ready, and caught Rihanna's thigh just before the knee hit her. Elisha then flipped the surprised singer to the mat and with a quick move applied a half crab.
She pulled backwards as hard as she could and Rihanna, who was pounding the mat in pain, still shocked from finding herself in this position all of a sudden, was far away from the ropes.
After about 30 seconds of this, a fuming Rihanna finally surrendered, giving Elisha this prestigious win.
Elisha: "Thank you to all my fans for the support. This was a tough one...I knew she was going to be strong. Actually she was stronger than I imagined...that back breaker was amazingly painful, it felt like she was going to finish me off....but...not tonight! I'm tougher than that! I feel like I really earned my win tonight over a tough opponent. Looking forward to improving and kicking some more asses around here! "
Rihanna: "This is bullshit. I kicked her ass. Watch the tape. I kicked her ass bad. She fought dirty and I don't like that. I feel like I'm much stronger than her as a fighter, give me another chance with her and she's gonna get her big white ass kicked hard."
The End!
Only Megan Fox!
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